Monday, June 24, 2013
About Faith
Faith
is trusting the universe like you trust your best friend. When you have
that kind of relationship with the universe, life becomes team work
with everything and everyone. Patience comes naturally as you know your
next move will become clear. And pain and joy are part of the same dance
because they all contribute to your compassion toward others and your
self... and to your enlightenment and that of everyone around you.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Poem: When I am no longer in my human body
I will miss the light and colors and shades of sunrise and
sunsets, the hues and brightness of the stars and the moon, when I am no longer
in my human body.
I will miss playing, and sharing ideas and stories with my
son when I am no longer human. I will miss the implicit recognition with my
daughter who did not share this life with me. I will miss the dance with their
mothers.
I will miss coffee and ice cream and flowers and walks and
laughing and crying, and especially feeling for and with all my fellow humans,
when I am no longer human.
I will miss hugging you and hearing your stories when I am
no longer human.
I will miss looking into a lover’s eyes morning, afternoon
or night, holding her in my arms and being sent to heaven by her natural
fragrance. I will miss watching her come to life when something matters to her.
I will miss our impossible fights and our spontaneous love making.
God, I will miss being human and I will miss being horny for
merging with the universe and infinite consciousness. I will miss this
relationship I have with you, my rebellion against things not working out my
way, and my learning to surrender when I come to my senses. I will miss
breathing with you.
God, source of everything, source of this love that is so
palpable and yet so difficult to fully grasp, thank you for this breath, thank
you for this experience. Thank you!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Essay: In Order to Love
In order to love, one has to consciously leave behind everything that isn't love.
I remember experiencing unconditional love after retracing my steps through my emotions back to a time of extreme loneliness during my childhood. The result was a connection with my inner child that left me crying tears of joy, a dam had opened and my tears flowed freely... and I experienced unconditional love and a blessing, a message in the midst of a vision of a beautiful Earth... "THE WORLD DOES NOT WANT TO BE CHANGED, JUST LOVED."
I had wanted to know how to heal painful experiences from childhood and I had wanted to help change the world for a better one. This experience came as an answer to both of my inquiries.
When I came back to my not so ecstatic 'normal' self I asked: "What do I need to do to get back into that space?" And the answer was: "Drop your worries."
This experience came to me in the early 90s. I did not know then how to drop any worry. They seemed to own me. Now I know. I just need to remember what it feels like to enter the space of love, of gratitude, of humble presence, of smiling with a child, holding a small flower, ...
I now know it is a choice to leave everything else behind and that choice isn't so difficult. It is the difference between Hell and Heaven, the difference between being a disconnected fear-filled human being or a spiritual being in a human body. The difference between letting my mind control me or finding the guru within and aligning with it. It makes all the difference in the world.
I remember experiencing unconditional love after retracing my steps through my emotions back to a time of extreme loneliness during my childhood. The result was a connection with my inner child that left me crying tears of joy, a dam had opened and my tears flowed freely... and I experienced unconditional love and a blessing, a message in the midst of a vision of a beautiful Earth... "THE WORLD DOES NOT WANT TO BE CHANGED, JUST LOVED."
I had wanted to know how to heal painful experiences from childhood and I had wanted to help change the world for a better one. This experience came as an answer to both of my inquiries.
When I came back to my not so ecstatic 'normal' self I asked: "What do I need to do to get back into that space?" And the answer was: "Drop your worries."
This experience came to me in the early 90s. I did not know then how to drop any worry. They seemed to own me. Now I know. I just need to remember what it feels like to enter the space of love, of gratitude, of humble presence, of smiling with a child, holding a small flower, ...
I now know it is a choice to leave everything else behind and that choice isn't so difficult. It is the difference between Hell and Heaven, the difference between being a disconnected fear-filled human being or a spiritual being in a human body. The difference between letting my mind control me or finding the guru within and aligning with it. It makes all the difference in the world.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
An Essay: The use of the phrase "Straight and Gays" in politics
Now people who are gay are acknowledged openly by politicians and the military. Whether they talk about them in positive or negative terms, they no longer ignore gay people. That's progress.
I want to see more... because it is still an 'us vs them' sort of a thing, meaning it is still in comparison to being straight, whether spoken of in progressive or conservative terms.
It is time that we think no longer in comparison to our self or to a mainstream, but in terms of individual differences for their own sake. It is time we talk about sexual preferences as unique for each one of us. The phrase 'Straight and Gays' is not representative of all sexual preferences of human beings, and it is distancing rather than bringing together because it is based in terms of a comparison to a mainstream. It is time we talk about the beauty of diversity for its own sake.
When we compare people to a mainstream set of beliefs or rules, we put down our individual gifts and purposes in life, we invite people to give up their individuality, and as a result, we all miss out on the wealth that we each came to share with the world.
I want to see more... because it is still an 'us vs them' sort of a thing, meaning it is still in comparison to being straight, whether spoken of in progressive or conservative terms.
It is time that we think no longer in comparison to our self or to a mainstream, but in terms of individual differences for their own sake. It is time we talk about sexual preferences as unique for each one of us. The phrase 'Straight and Gays' is not representative of all sexual preferences of human beings, and it is distancing rather than bringing together because it is based in terms of a comparison to a mainstream. It is time we talk about the beauty of diversity for its own sake.
When we compare people to a mainstream set of beliefs or rules, we put down our individual gifts and purposes in life, we invite people to give up their individuality, and as a result, we all miss out on the wealth that we each came to share with the world.
Dealing with Anxiety the Spiritual Way
Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche started his life with
deep anxiety attacks. So much that he tend to hide from people at times.
But then one day after a year of anxiety during a 3 year retreat, he
decided to put the lessons he learned to practice. He realized that the
cause of his misery came from his fixation on small problems. And he
noticed how thoughts and emotions are transitory. They came and went.
"They weren't nearly as solid or real as they appeared to be. And once I began to let go of my belief in the story they seemed to tell, i began to see the 'author' beyond them -- the infinitely vast, infinitely open awareness that is the nature of mind itself." (The Joy of Living, p.22)
And from Pema Chödrön: THE SENSATION OF BLISS
(from a facebook page)
A few years ago I was overwhelmed by deep anxiety, a fundamental, intense anxiety with no storyline attached. I felt very vulnerable, very afraid and raw. While I sat and breathed with it, relaxed into it, stayed with it, the terror did not abate. It was unrelenting even after many days, and I didn’t know what to do.
I went to see my teacher, Dzigar Kongtrül, and he said, “Oh, I know that place.” That was reassuring. He told me about times in his life when he had been caught in the same way. He said it had been an important part of his journey and had been a great teacher for him. Then he did something that shifted how I practice. He asked me to describe what I was experiencing. He asked me where I felt it. He asked me if it hurt physically and if it were hot or cold. He asked me to describe the quality of the sensation, as precisely as I could. This detailed exploration continued for a while and then he brightened up and said, “Ani Pema…That’s a high level of spiritual bliss.” I almost fell off my chair. I thought, “Wow, this is great!” And I couldn’t wait to feel that intensity again. And do you know what happened? When I eagerly sat down to practice, of course, since the resistance was gone, so was the anxiety.
"They weren't nearly as solid or real as they appeared to be. And once I began to let go of my belief in the story they seemed to tell, i began to see the 'author' beyond them -- the infinitely vast, infinitely open awareness that is the nature of mind itself." (The Joy of Living, p.22)
And from Pema Chödrön: THE SENSATION OF BLISS
(from a facebook page)
A few years ago I was overwhelmed by deep anxiety, a fundamental, intense anxiety with no storyline attached. I felt very vulnerable, very afraid and raw. While I sat and breathed with it, relaxed into it, stayed with it, the terror did not abate. It was unrelenting even after many days, and I didn’t know what to do.
I went to see my teacher, Dzigar Kongtrül, and he said, “Oh, I know that place.” That was reassuring. He told me about times in his life when he had been caught in the same way. He said it had been an important part of his journey and had been a great teacher for him. Then he did something that shifted how I practice. He asked me to describe what I was experiencing. He asked me where I felt it. He asked me if it hurt physically and if it were hot or cold. He asked me to describe the quality of the sensation, as precisely as I could. This detailed exploration continued for a while and then he brightened up and said, “Ani Pema…That’s a high level of spiritual bliss.” I almost fell off my chair. I thought, “Wow, this is great!” And I couldn’t wait to feel that intensity again. And do you know what happened? When I eagerly sat down to practice, of course, since the resistance was gone, so was the anxiety.
Poem: Something More Refined Than I Know
There is something more refined than I know.
I have tasted it briefly.
There is something more pure than water,
an essence more inebriating,
more quenching,
more freeing...
I have dreamed of it.
I know it is real.
There is a door
already opened
that I keep thinking is closed to me
I have to remind myself
it is only my shadow
that isn't there yet.
I have tasted it briefly.
There is something more pure than water,
an essence more inebriating,
more quenching,
more freeing...
I have dreamed of it.
I know it is real.
There is a door
already opened
that I keep thinking is closed to me
I have to remind myself
it is only my shadow
that isn't there yet.
Poem: I Love Life
What I love about life is that it is expecting that we love unconditionally.
What I love about life is that it gives you the freedom to love or not.
What I love about life is that we have choices: we can choose to breathe, or not; we can choose to listen, or not; we can choose to hug, or not; we can choose to celebrate, or not; we can choose to sing, or not.
What I love about life is that it expects me to be me, whether people like that or not.
What I love about life is that I get to embrace it every moment I remember to, and I get to feel life hugging me back.
I remember when I was first writing poems and got my first $75 award for second place in a contest that I had a moment of epiphany: I could write poems or I could live like a poet, breathing and living inspired... I vowed to live like a poet...
I love life!
What I love about life is that it gives you the freedom to love or not.
What I love about life is that we have choices: we can choose to breathe, or not; we can choose to listen, or not; we can choose to hug, or not; we can choose to celebrate, or not; we can choose to sing, or not.
What I love about life is that it expects me to be me, whether people like that or not.
What I love about life is that I get to embrace it every moment I remember to, and I get to feel life hugging me back.
I remember when I was first writing poems and got my first $75 award for second place in a contest that I had a moment of epiphany: I could write poems or I could live like a poet, breathing and living inspired... I vowed to live like a poet...
I love life!
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