Sunday, March 11, 2012

Fiction: Smoke and Mirrors

About my invitation to the funhouse … the word ‘invitation’ is rhetorical. You cannot escape. This is experiential. A journey into the spirit of Edwin Markham’s words: Alegerile sunt balamalele destinului (choices are the hinges of destiny). And my own, in due time. 

You have entered my antechamber. Please remain quiet. Talking distracts from what’s essential. The music? It’s Funhouse Entrance from The Caravan of Thieves:

It's a beautiful world if you look
At a glance it's a dream if you stare it's a scream
If you wait in the line every time
By the day that you die you'll have waited your whole life…

I present you with mirrors. Many. You do not need to count them. Just observe with all of your senses. Observe with your skin. I am one of the mirrors. Of course. Please, don’t look away, yet. It would cost you. Allow the experience to sink in. Slowly. Thoroughly. Taking a hold of your whole being. Beyond orgasm. Do you recognize me? Do you know who I am?

There is a gun on the table. I am not asking you to use it, merely to experience it. There are two lovers about you. You only see them through the mirrors. You feel them. They are a part of you. If they had a hue, one would be red and the other blue. That is only an experience, not a visual. They are real; your heart is anguished over them, and your mind is under their spell.

Look again. What do you see? Look through the fogged up looking glass. Feel through your own daemons’ heartbeat. Stop projecting. Be. Without masks or screens, without protection or defenses. Authentically.

This antechamber is an introduction to what’s real. What no one can know but you. Get acquainted with your inner universe. Your inner stars. I have my inner stars, my inner Astrology. My sign is the phoenix. Yes, I have risen from the ashes. Many, many times. It attuned me to wisdom, to pure reflection. As I said, I am a mirror.

As a mirror, I am neither round nor square.
I don’t have fancy, oriental designs or gold trimming.
I am jagged, like the rays of the sun.
I have scuffs, scratches and dents like a chrome bumper.
I am fogged, warped and faded like the mirrors of a funhouse.
I am aged, but with a beauty that only those with a true gift could see.
I am unique, standing out amongst all other mirrors.
I have seen time pass, reflecting shadows across my glass.
I have been loved, forgotten, given away, sold and even tossed.
When people look, I don’t seem very special.
And it is always their loss to walk away without peering in once.

(Adapted from AP:

Do you recognize me yet? Do you know who I am? I love any writing. I write like a chain smoker. And I read voraciously. Do not use lipstick, if you wish to write on me. Use chocolate. Only. Good quality chocolate. Or blood. Your own. Otherwise, you may experience the world of ashes. No excuses and no exceptions.

Let me distract you from your obsession. I want your unfrazzled attention. I will keep you until you finally see through the smoke and mirrors. Perhaps you will come to your senses. Perhaps you will surrender and let the spell dissolve. Remember this is a funhouse. I offer darkness merely so you have to make a choice. Your own. I only offer you options. Illusions are part of the experience. How else would you discover your desire to shake yourself off of your complacency and discover your inner jewels?

Ah! You are starting to bleed. Love is cruel. The two lovers are tearing you apart. Don’t you see that one leads you to your life and the other to your death? Death is a choice, it’s true, but I do not recommend it. Life is a video game. You die over and over until you find a way out. To the next level. But you don’t have to die this time. You can still find a way out. You still have time. I believe in you.

You are in my antechamber. I can see your mind is still in the gutter, but your heart is rising to the light. This is just the beginning. I am Airicka Phoenix. Your host. Your conscience. Your true mirror. When you succeed, more rooms will open to you, and, with each room, new experiences await you.